Ok, I need to update. I'm getting behind, on everything. I feel like I'm so disorganized. A lot of you have been sending me nice messages on facebook/email saying that you're thinking about me and praying for me. I grately appreciate it!!! It really makes me feel much better getting all the love and support from you guys. I'm trying really hard to respond to each of you. So I'm sorry if I don't get back to you right away. Like I said, I'm super disorganized right now :-( I can't wait for my life to get back into order again!
These past few days have been hard. It's been a month since our miscarriage. I thought it would have hit me harder than it has. I just went back to the numb stage again... I spent the whole day of my anniversary (with Jordan) running around and keeping myself busy. I wasn't sure why until I sat down and thought about it. I believe I was avoiding thinking about it. Then Jordan and I had a nice little fight and I way over reacted! I burst into tears and couldn't stop sobbing. I was holding it in for too long and finally broke down. I actually thought about watching a video of soldiers coming home to their families so that I could finally cry and let it out ;-)
A lot of my friends have reached out and said that they would be there if I ever needed to talk. But I don't even know where to start or what to say. I really need to talk and let it out. I notice that I'm starting to bottle things up right now. I think I'm just afraid that no one will understand what I say because I barely understand what's going on inside my head... Sigh
On a lighter note... Autumn is a WALKING MACHINE!!! She's absolutely everywhere! Her balanced has improved tremendously! She barely needs her arms up in the air. She loves running away from me and giggling. It's our new game. I love letting her run around. It's really nice. She's still finding things on the ground that our vacuum cleaner missed, can't wait for that stage to be over. I noticed yesterday that Autumn's 2 bottom side teeth are coming in. They both broke through the skin. No wonder she's been so fussy lately!! Its gonna be weird with her having more teeth. I love the 6 that she has right now :-) She's really getting used to the routine of having daddy home now! After her morning nap, we go into our room and wake daddy up. She loves it!!! It's gonna be weird when Jordan goes back to work. This morning we let Jordan sleep in a little bit and she said "da-da" all morning until he woke up.
Speaking of Jordan, he has his 6 week check-up on Wednesday. I really hope he gets the ok to go back to work, for both our sakes. Hehe. Don't get me wrong, I love having him home, but I definitely loved having my old routine and Jordan's bored out of his mind! He needs to be doing something again. He's been walking on his foot for the past week without crutches (with his boot on, of course). Although, he has walked on his foot without a boot a couple of times. It's improved so much since I brought him home from the hospital. I'm hoping he doesn't need a lot of physical therapy. We'll see I guess.
My parents have been gone for the past week in Montana. They took a 2 week vacation to go out there and visit relatives. Along with some site seeing there and back. It's been weird, having them gone. Jordan and I like it though. Kind of like having our own home. Hehe. I've been doing cleaning everyday and cooking meals everyday. I love it!!! I actually feel like a mother/house wife instead of some bum living off her parents. We're so close to getting our own home :-D I don't want to jinx myself, but I notice that so far a lot of our hospital bills are being covered by insurance. I've been praying that God will help us through this because with Jordan not working, we have no income. God has always taken care of us through the hard times and I'm starting to accept His long term plan for us instead of making my own.
Well, I would love to say that I have pictures to add on here, but my camera's broken right now. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with it. I'm sure I'll have to bring it in. I'm missing out on a lot of picture opportunities. I'm sure as soon as I get it fixed, my blog will be swimming with pictures!