Frustration and Halloween

Ugh... When it rains... It pours! Not only is my camera broken, but now my computer won't cooperate. I can't get my computer to recognize my sim cards to upload pictures... Really? Now my dad's computer (that I was using for a while) isn't working either. So now I can't skype with Jordan (who's in Georgia right now). I don't have a webcam on my computer. Neither does my mom. Since when do laptops not have webcams? LOL. Maybe ancient ones. My cell phone's starting to go down the drain too, but at least I'm getting a new one this weekend!!!

What can I say about Autumn? Besides the fact that she's all over the place? ;-) She's getting really good at walking now. Doesn't really need to balance herself anymore. She especially likes to walk around outside now. Check out new things. Getting away from mommy (hehe). Her sleep schedule hasn't improved much. She still wakes up at least once in the middle of the night. Usually an hour after I fall asleep. The funny thing is that I was out with friends the other night and Autumn woke up. My mom tried to feed her a bottle (cuz I usually nurse her) and Autumn wouldn't take it. So my mom just gave her a pacifier and she went right back to sleep for another 6 hours!!! Really?!?!?! Is that all it takes? Too bad that doesn't work for me. She sees me and it's "I WANT BOOBIE!!!" :-)

Autumn's found a new love for books. I'm reading to her all the time and I love it! I'm so glad she's interested in books :-) She'll bring them to me, usually the same books, and sit on my lap while I read to her. She really likes the "My Baby Can Talk", sign language, series. She's learned a lot of new signs just from me reading and showing her them. My favorite sign is "more". She uses it all the time. I think she really uses it more as "I want" instead of more. The past few days she'll nurse on one side, and then when I'm getting her ready for the next side, she'll sign "more". Hehe. It's so cute! I'm currently working on teaching her "please" and "thank you". She's a quick learner, so I'm sure she'll catch on in no time ;-)

I'm not a huge fan of Halloween. Celebrating demons and devils and witches is not how I was raised. But how can you resist getting free candy from neighbors? So we decided that we're gonna allow Autumn (and our kids) to dress up in appropriate costumes and keep them within the neighborhood and grandparents for trick-or-treating. That's what we were allowed as a kid and I didn't complain. So I dressed Autumn up as a pumpkin fairy this year and took her to a few of the neighbors. She had a couple bites of candy. Mommy helped her with the rest ;-) I wish I could show you some pictures, but obviously that's not happening right now.

Quick update about myself... I'm doing well. My days are getting better and better. I do find that I'm still super emotional about things in general. I'm starting to think that won't ever go away :-) A lot of my friend's are getting pregnant now. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm happy for them, I really am. I will admit that at times I'm a little jealous. Probably more so as I see their bellies grow and hear about their doctor's appointments and stuff. I know that everything's in God's timing and He knows the ultimate plan for our family. I'm starting to become a little more open about my miscarriage too. I find that sometimes I can't stop talking about it, to people who haven't heard the story in particular. I feel bad that I might be talking their ear off, especially to those who have already heard it time and time again. I dunno if this is normal or not. Hmmm... I'm just thankful that I'm finally starting to feel at peace.